It was a damp, gray day in Rincon Hill, San Francisco—the kind of day when the city wears a watercolor sky of silver and ash. A light drizzle had been falling, blending the briny smell of the bay with the damp pavement. Truth be told, I barely registered any of it. I’d spent the last few weeks holed up in my apartment, laser-focused on Wild Rift. Call me a loser if you will, but sometimes when life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to dive headfirst into hedonic escapes: gaming, porn, gambling, or mindless doom scrolling. For me, it was all about ELO ranks—climbing from Iron to Gold to Diamond to Master to… who even knows at that point? I’d gotten so wrapped up in the chase that I was this close to giving up on ever finding a soulmate.
Yet finding that soulmate was the one dream I couldn’t shake off. Since childhood, people told me that studying hard would land me a prettier wife. Then in college, the word was “Get rich and you’ll get the hot girl.” Even working out at the gym—sure, I said it was for my health, but a big part of me wanted to be more appealing to a future partner. And if I’m being logical, it does make sense to prioritize finding the right person in your twenties or thirties. Scott Galloway even says so (video link). But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, life doesn’t line up the way you expect.
Then came a moment of what felt like divine intervention. Right around the time I was about to throw in the towel, I got a Hinge match. I wasn’t even checking the app often—my gaming obsession was crowding everything else out. Yet this particular match seemed different, like a quiet nudge telling me not to ignore it. We exchanged a few messages, jumped on a phone call, and I learned she was about to fly off to Korea for Thanksgiving. With barely any time before her trip, I convinced her we had to meet. She mentioned a wine bar in Rincon Hill—Mili Wine Bar—so that’s exactly where we ended up.
From the instant I saw her, I was captivated. She had this radiant smile, an angelic laugh that lit up the room, and a kind of effortless confidence—like she knew who she was but wore it lightly. And trust me, I don’t throw around words like “angelic” for just anyone. Her laughter, when it really came out, wasn’t the polite, “I’m on a date” type of laugh. It was genuine, warm, and disarmingly pure. We talked for hours, time flew by, and I’ll be honest: at first I figured, “I don’t care what her personality’s like; she’s gorgeous.” But the more we talked, the more I realized she was conscientious and open-minded—an incredibly rare combo. Even better, she seemed to like me too. When the bars closed, we walked back to her apartment, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Was it random luck or a blessing from God? I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I’m beyond grateful. I can’t even resent how long it took for this moment to arrive, because in the meantime, I grew in ways I wouldn’t have otherwise. I would never read these life-changing books (which are truly life-changing):
- Models by Mark Manson
- The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
- No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover
A decade ago, I would’ve messed everything up—if I even managed to score the date in the first place. I was clueless, insecure, and had zero game. So maybe it was God’s plan that it happened now.
That said, I also understand that beautiful things He gives He can take away. I don’t want to lose her, but simply wanting that isn’t enough. She might be perfect for me, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m perfect for her. My job now is to become a better provider, be more reliable, wiser, stronger, more mature and humble—basically, do whatever it takes not to fuck this up. That drive to keep growing is another gift I never knew I was missing.